The Underground Olympics

New Yorkers have a sixth sense about them when it comes to catching the subway. They can be half a block down from the entrance, blindfolded and ears covered, and somehow they will know when the train pulls into the station. When this happens, even the frailest of little old ladies suddenly becomes an Olympic sprinter. Despite the frequency with which trains run, no one ever wants to wait.

And there is no string of curses like those muttered by people who get up to the subway doors only to watch helplessly as they close before them. Those same little old ladies have the dirtiest mouths you’ll ever come across when they miss the train. They become the mouthpiece of Satan whose sole purpose is to deflower young, innocent ears.

Another funny thing to witness is a fight between two cabbies, especially if they are from different countries. I often don’t know exactly what they say, but I can certainly understand what they mean. There is no mistaking a fist shake in the air - it’s one of those universal signs, and likewise it’s hard to ignore the meaning of spitting. The funny thing is that cabbies are notoriously bad drivers and extremely prone to making mistakes. I guess it’s always easier to blame someone else.